So I started working with clay again in an attempt appease my inner child as well as the right half of my brain. However, I'm overly critical of my works and feel they're all garbage. Most of the time, I don't feel any enjoyment from doing art. In fact, I fucking hate art. I hate the struggle, the mess, the process--I just hate it all. I hate how things I want to portray never turn out right--they never turn the way I picture them.
The tiny bit of times where I do enjoy it gets swallowed up by negativity and I avoid art for a long time. Doesn't matter what medium or style, it all makes me happy for a little bit and then both sad and angry. I wish I could feel carefree about art. I wish I could just create and have things come out as close to perfect as possible. Maybe then people would like me better? Maybe they wouldn't ignore me? Hah. Fat chance.