I guess it's because I'm slowly ghosting out of the lives of others and basically dropping out of social media like Facebook. I just felt so lonely and isolated over there -- not because I had a billion friends that I did not know personally. I don't do that -- I don't want numerous people I don't know. I actually had a few family and friends.
And that was the problem.
Here are these people I know who have friended me on Facebook... ignoring me and treating me like a dirty shameful secret. But maybe it's not actually like that... it sure feels like it though. I know that they don't care to ask how I'm doing or anything. I don't feel particularly welcome asking them how they are -- in the past I have but now I'm just like they don't really need me asking.
Whatever the case, I feel free now. Like, I'm not constantly waiting to be noticed and shit.
So... I've been helping people anonymously. I've been replying to people's posts and sending good vibes their way. I know how it feels to be in pain, to cry out for help, and knowing that no one gives a shit. It fucking hurts. I'm going to keep giving people good vibes and compliments... and advice if I can.
And before anyone says it, I know I'm not entitled to anyone's attention. However, I am entitled to how I feel about it and what I can do to ease it hence my ghosting out the situation.