General Warning

My old Tumblr account name is now nest of random spam and garbage. I can't do anything about it nor do I want to go back to the festering hellhole of pedophilia and nazism that is Tumblr, but I can inform people that this Tumblr is false and NOT operated by me in any way, shape or form. I'm kind of angry though since Annedubstepfox is the one name I will not abandon. It has special meaning to me.

That said, I only leave referral links to places I have personally tried, liked, and trusted such as: Inbox Dollars, Acorns, ThredUP, iHerb and even Slidejoy to name a few. All of these sites have not done me wrong yet.

Yes you are getting credit for using these links and yes, it helps the person who shared it. No, you aren't being scammed nor is the credit to me being taken from you. We BOTH get something from the company and/or advertiser--we BOTH win.

I am stressing this because a lot of times people want the product or service but will deny their referral a credit. Technically, a person posting a referral is not begging and you never know if that one referral will make help a person out of a bad situation. 


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Praising strong, independent badass female characters who stand on their own character wise (Shuri, Nakia, Okoye, etc.)... but putting them down on the sly because they aren't rulers are only slated next-in-line. Never mind Wakanda doesn't bar women from leadership. Never mind that female opinions and female wisdom are an integral part of Wakandan live and government.

This is another reason why I can't get into gender critical/radical feminism. They are racist on the sly and I think ignoring the nuance of Wakandan culture is where the term White Feminism is okay.

Not to make White women shut up, but to explain why it is they see things differently and why they must dictate what is and isn't acceptable for WOC empowerment. "White Feminism" as a dog whistle encourages silence whereas saying hey no offense but you as a White woman are viewing things from your white female perspective.

Anyways, I'm going to hang back and avoid discussions involving non-White things. Not because I don't want non-White female leaders or non-White female led movies, but because White feminism really can't understand why Black men and women and children are so excited about a movie like Black Panther.


Purposely Obtuse Fans

I don't understand those who idolize villains and woobify them. I really don't. I also don't understand those who use mental illness as a gotcha for people who question this logic.

But the fans that love these villains without question and excuse them with mental illness are wrong. So very wrong. For most mentally ill people, these villains resemble their abusers rather than them or their fellow mentally ill peeps. I second that--a lot of the villains that people both love and hate always reminded me of my abusers and bullies.

Let's take Kylo Ren for example because some fan(atic) decided that he was mentally ill and that people pick on him because he's mentally ill.

I want to say that its okay to like villains. I love villains myself. Some villains I feel are complex and interesting. Nothing wrong with it.

However, some fans take it too far--excusing fucked up behavior or justifying it all. Sometimes they take character traits from non-white heroes and given them to their White villain woobies while ignoring and demonizing the non-White heroes.

Such is with Kylo Ren. He throws rage fits that terrify even his own troops, murdered his fucking father for power, and even tried wooing Rey to the dark side after he once kidnapped and played around in her head... just a few of his visible actions from the movies.

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  • Current Mood: frustrated frustrated
  • Current Music: Fallout 3/Vegas/4 Soundtrack

Violence is NEVER The Answer

How can I be against violence if I promote it?

Sure, I may not agree with someone like say a racist, but I am and should always feel welcome to question them or challenge their points. I am and should always be welcome to make workshops to help those affected by their beliefs and vote to stop certain beliefs from turning into harmful laws.

Violence as activism has never sat well with me even when I was laughing at punching Nazis. There was a part of me deep down that understood violence was and is wrong. Perhaps it was my inner child who feared fist and belt alike that nagged me quietly from the recesses of my mind.

So sorry. I'm not reblogging or sharing memes or videos about punching people or any violence for activism. It doesn't feel right and it's totes illegal--the physical assault and the threats to assault someone or even murder them.



I don't normally advertise things on my blog, but money's tight and I tried ThreadUP as a customer and I loved it. I wanted to share my experience as well as my referral link in case anyone wants good clothes.

Bear in mind that ThredUP is slightly more expensive than other second hand stores because... well I'm guessing it takes a lot of money for web hosting and management, advertising, warehouse rent space, consignment processing, shipping, payroll stuff, etc.

Anyway, I ordered $516.11 retail value stuff. It was all $152.89 and because of the discount that shaved $61.16 off of my order, it came to about $91.73... no shipping.

I entered my sizes for various categories, looked through the selections and made my order. I received about 9 pairs of great looking pants, one shirt, and a pair of flats--fitting exceptionally well on me. I have been doing good at saving money despite things being tight at the moment, so I'm not worried about having spent $91.73 on clothes. Besides, my favorite pair of jeans died due to being one of my few pairs and thus overworked. I had to recycle them.

It's good to have more clothes in my case since growing up, I never really had great looking clothes or many clothes for that matter. It was always an easy go-to for my bullies aside from my race and looks. Even in the adult world, people will treat you less than shit because you're clothes are obviously old and worn and few.

Anyway, here's my referral LINK for 10% off on a ThredUP order.


Loud Male Voices

This isn't a hate post, but I as reading around one Tumblr, logged out of course since I no longer enjoy Tumblr, I came across a discussion that resonated with me.

Loud male voices terrify me. They send jolts of fear through me and make me hypervigilant even if the voice isn't angry. If it's intelligible or sudden, it does the same damn thing.

I guess it's because my father was always loud--especially when being angry and abusive as fuck. His ways of being were just so disruptive and unsettling that it caused me to develop a fear of loud voices--male especially--as well as loud noises. He did slam doors and throw things after all.

So that was the discussion--well not discussion, mostly women chiming in to confirm that loud male voices also terrify them and make them go into survival mode. 

Coming out Slowly as Gender Critical

So.... lately, I've been sharing gender critical views. These views are held as serious blasphemy against liberal/fun feminist spaces where trans inclusivity reigns supreme. It's treason really.

I have serious grievances with trans politics, trans cultism, and trans activism, but what could I say that hasn't been posted by other more well-versed and well-spoken radical feminists?

I would like to say that I did indeed start out as pro-trans even if it did not make sense to me. I supported trans this and trans that even when red flags popped up (lots of flags I ignored to be a good 'cis' ally).

I smiled behind a weary knowledge of what it truly means to be female while trans identified males put on the gendered trappings and proclaimed themselves real or better females. I had a sickening feeling in my gut whenever a natal female described her gender dysphoria which sounded eerily like the internalized misogyny that stalked my life in my teens.

I watched woman after woman be de-platformed for supposed hateful transphobic speech. I watched dog-piles happen on Tumblr over random girls talking on their own personal blogs about their bodies and periods and general girl problems. I watched blacklists and call-outs grow over trivial things. I watched people assert their boundaries over little things and say others have rapist mentalities for asking why they can't agree and reblog a user's post just because they have tiny view that the other doesn't agree with.

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Still not dead yet...

I went through some weird shit. My heart was acting up--palpitations caused by lung inaction. I also had some sort of viral/bacterial infection in my lungs. Mucus filled my right lung and then my left and they would switch every so often being sick and weighted down. It was difficult to move. Jostling my lungs would hurt them and my heart. I looked everywhere for every symptom I felt, but what other people described didn't seem to match   

I took to krill oil, magnesium, and such when it was just my heart. When it was my lungs, I started with mucinex equivalent and licorice tea. Then I started taking echinacea, golden seal, vitamin C, elderberry, zinc... and when that wasn't helping too well, I grabbed dayquil equivalent as well as fish mox.

I'm doing so much better, but I'm worried I'm not out of the proverbial woods yet. I guess I'm thankful to be alive this thanksgiving day, but death and the unknown are always stalking not far behind.


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It seems like I'm dying.

I'm only 32... and might be dying.

My heart is acting strange. There are palpitations plaguing me--scaring me into staying up late and worrying.

I'm not afraid of death, just pain. How long will I be in pain and how long will I have to endure it? Will I see supernatural beings to torment me?

I don't know. Death isn't scary, the process is though.


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It just occurred to me that Jarl Balgruuf the Greater is probably bisexual or gay, and that Nazeem, with what can be made of his comments and his wife's comments, might be sleeping with him. I mean c'mon, Balgruuf is an important older widowed man and Nazeem is a sycophantic younger man wealthy man who's fucking gorgeous. As annoying as Nazeem can be, I would admit, I would tap that boody.

I might be wrong.

But if I'm not, then wow Bethesda. That's different than what you usually do with gay characters. Usually you guys have them tragically die. I mean, Bethesda I used to call y'all  the masters of the "bury your gays" trope of the gaming world. But here is a possible good portrayal of gay and bisexual men.