I actually wrote him a letter to explain why the day before yesterday I had been rude and awkward.
My sister was supposed to give it to him for me.
But she went back on her promise and left me to do it.
I gathered my courage and gave it to him.
My sister was vague about his reaction after I darted out of the breakroom and he read the letter.
He probably thought I was pretentious... writing in cursive, in ink, sealing the letter with wax... he probably hates me.
At least I finally got that off of my chest so I can breathe easier.
I don't care if he ever returns my feelings I just wanted to get it out. If he rejects me, I can feel sad for however long and recover. Then go through the long process of building up my walls again.