Now I can do nothing else but browse secretsanon and muttr (try to help people and get into fights), listen to music (the only drug besides benadryl that helps), and write fan fiction (I think I'm stuck--writer's block and all).
The good thing is that I'm eating again. I had to force food down my throat though. My mind and body tried to fight back--tried to make me vomit. But I talked them down--told them it wasn't worth it.
And... I talked to my older sister. I made the effort. The conversation was short. I showed her some tiny soda bottle being made in a youtube video. But after a while the conversation died. I felt little sad, but I know better than to keep bugging people.
If they wanted to talk to me, they would... and since they don't, well... it seems that they don't and that I'm a miserable inconvience that they have to deal with...
Well... I've made this far in life... alone and unwanted... so I should do my best to disappoint them since I'm unworthy or their love or attention. I will make sure to stay alive as long as possible.