Tales from GaiaOnline

I have a story to tell from the before times--roughly fifteen years ago. Now, this wasn't the only experience that pushed me to #peaktrans but it was the most striking thing and I've kept it in the back of my mind all this time. Bear in mind, I was doing what I could to be a good ally (and we know allies are one use and throw away under the current SJ/activism model) and pushed trans rhetoric and avoided interacting with TERFs though I had my gut feeling that something was "off" about anti-TERFs and what they were telling people.

Anyway, one time on a feminist thread on some forum we were discussing reasons why women and girls don't come forward about sexual harassment, rape, and other things. We were also discussing the fear of predation and what we do to ensure our safety and the safety of other women and girls--normal stuff for a feminist thread. Note this was when feminist was still for women mostly and aside from trolls and MRAs, the thread was ours to discuss female relevant issues and debate the intruders.

Well here comes this one woman we assumed was a woman and she proceeds to grill me and other women as hypervigilant, paranoid, and all those other things that hurt men's feelings cause they're just trying to get to know you and get your number. I was grilled for saying I would never accept drinks from men and that if I accidentally left a drink unattended I'd pour it out buy a new one AND for being against dating men though I was and am still bisexual. "What if you met a guy and he really liked you?" Shit like that.

Some important things about this woman. She had a history of being aggressive, gaslight-y, overly chatty about kinks, and plain rude to women. She was the ultimate kool-aid drinker. On this forum we could choose to dress up our characters and change their looks as we wished provided we posted enough to earn the fictional currency. She dressed her character rather porn-y--like fantastical BDSM stuff. Nothing too hair-raising considering the sex pozzies and their everyone who doesn't like it is a frigid prude mantras.

Well, later I find out through other threads that she was a he. A trans-identified male.

So I'm thinking in the back of my mind, of course! It makes sense (every "discussion" with him was PTSD inducting/triggering my goddess!), but I didn't consciously acknowledge it. A while later in a thread about racism, I meet this guy's alternate account (dressed his avatar as a kinky Dr McCoy/Deforest Kelly) and I'm not sure it's him at first because though I've encountered many people and trolls, I was still learning to identify/profile and hunt trolls.

Okay, so he's arguing with, not debating with, and gaslighting another group of women (WoC) on the misogynoir thread. He's laying into this one chick I admired generally. At the time I was coming to the realization of what my father was and has been doing to us (his three daughters) for nearly our whole lives. My dad was an NPD. I was reading up on every resource I could after coming to that realization.

So when this TiM comes to tell Black women about how we're over exaggerating and he doesn't see what we're talking about, it all clicked a little harder. I saw the distress he was causing to this woman and it was only because I started looking at NPD and that I was not under fire from him at the time. I could clearly see what he was about without the haze of emotional torment and anger clouding my mind.

I took that moment of realization to step and call him out meme style. I said, "What you're doing, it's there and I see it." He plays innocent. The woman he was tormenting snaps out of his control and I'm not sure if she thanked me or not, but what was important was that she now understood what he was doing to her mentally.

I eventually strayed away from Gaia for several reasons... Gaia's changing culture, the double standards with the madmins (I posted an anti-white meme in the middle of an anti-Black troll thread (that I and others reported several times and were told it wasn't against the rules/it was just a discussion) which the the mods straight up ignored until I did that), the lack of quality, the trolls, and of course the prowlers like that TiM.

That was my story.


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