Dubstep Ender Fox (annedubstepfox) wrote,
Dubstep Ender Fox

Open Letter: Scars in My Mind

Dear Adrian,

We both use to go to Diamond Elementary School in Fort Stewart, Georgia. I forget what class we had together and I do not care. There is only one thing I care about right now: unleashing a torrent of angry volcanic words and wicked wishes of suffering unto you. Because I fucking hate you.

Years ago, in fourth grade I'm sure, I was just sitting at my desk and doing my work. Like. Any. Other. Student. A feat for me because I struggle with life-long ADHD. Anyhow, when I'm in my zone I can usually only hear a few ambient things. So I heard you out loud say (I will paraphrase since I mostly tried to repress that memory) "ew no! I would never date her! She's the most ugliest, (blah blah blah)!" I listened and I got up and slowly walked to the teacher with my eyes on you. I wanted to remember the face of the monster you were at 8/9 years old.

You probably still are foul, evil, insidious monster who likes to out loud hurt other people with words.

Later that night I cried. It's not like I liked you or anything. The reason why I cried was because it hurt. I didn't know you or do anything to you at all. All I knew was that I was trying to do my work and there you were on the other side of the classroom loudly tearing into me. I cried because everyday I dealt with that kind of resentment and cruelty. My self-worth was practically nil from kindergarten to.... to this year.

To be fair, you weren't the only filthy carrion bird pecking at my dying flesh. There are tons more people who have had their share of tearing into me. Every person who has ever hurt me I has left a nasty scar on my body and debilitating virus in my blood, but for the names of those I do remember, don't worry, they too will get a letter.

As for why I am writing this now... I don't know. Maybe I feel I'm losing control of my life (though through the arcane I wish to better it) and I am simply getting what I need to say out before I die?

Whatever the case, if you stumble upon this, I don't care. I doubt you care too. I doubt you even have the capacity feel guilt or anything. All I wanted was to get this off of my chest and vent all my anger.



Tags: abusers, adrian, assholes, bullies, childhood memories, complete monsters, if i cry blood, if my heart fails, vile people
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.